Tips for Parents of Children Who Communicate Without Words
Use these tips with children who communicate using a combination of sounds, gestures (e.g. pointing, shaking head for “no”, waving “bye”) and eye gaze (looking at you and then at what he is “talking” about), but are not yet using words.
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Sing songs with your child and build in opportunities for them to take turns
Sing simple songs with your child, especially ones with actions, like “Row Row Row your Boat”, and build in opportunities for them to participate. This is a fun way for them to learn to take their turn in an interaction, as well as to learn new words.
First...
Sing a new song the same way a few times so your child learns the song and its “high point”. High points are the most interesting parts of a song. In “Row, Row, Row your Boat”, the high points are the rocking back and forth while you and your child sit on the floor, holding outstretched hands, and saying the last word after a long pause – i.e., “dream”.
Next...
Once your child is familiar with the song, you can do one of the following:
- Pause before a high point and wait for them to respond. For example, when singing “Row Row Row your Boat”, sing the song through once or twice and then, still holding their hands, WAIT for them to ask you to sing it again (they will probably make a sound or rock back and forth to ask you to do it again).
- Start to sing the song while rocking back and forth, pausing mid-song so they can ask you to continue.
- Slow down and pause before the last word (“dream”), so they can make a sound – any sound – to end the song.
To take their turn during songs, your child may wriggle, make a sound, look at you, point to something or perform an action. Accept anything as their turn and then continue immediately. The most important thing is that they take a turn and have fun while doing it.
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Use many different kinds of words when talking with your child
Make a point of highlighting a variety of word types when talking to your child, not just the names of things. It’s important for your child to learn a variety of word types in order to talk in short sentences. So make sure to emphasize:
- Action words (sleep, eat, run, push, squeeze, break)
- Descriptive words (soft, hot, big, sticky, funny, tired)
- Location words (up, down, in, on, under)
- Words about belonging (my, your, his, Mommy’s)
- Feeling words (sad, sick, happy, angry), as well
- Nouns or names of things (dog, book, bed, cup)
Make sure to repeat these words often and make them stand out when you use them by exaggerating your intonation and slowing down a bit. For example, “Mommy is very... tired (yawn). I must go to bed because I need to have a good sleep. Then I won’t be so tired.”
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Expand your child’s vocabulary by introducing a new word to a daily routine
Everyday activities and routines provide great opportunities to help your child learn new words. During bathtime, for example, you can help them learn the word lukewarm. Make a comment that uses the word and also describes its meaning, like, “The bath water is lukewarm – it’s not too hot, just a little warm.” Then make sure to repeat the word every time you do that routine. Lastly, think beyond that particular routine and plan how you could use the word in other situations. For example, you could use lukewarm when talking about tea or coffee or soup! Help your child understand more about the word when you use it. For example, “I like my tea to be very hot. Lukewarm tea isn’t hot enough and it doesn’t taste good.” The more situations you can get your child thinking about the word, the better they’ll understand it and the more likely they’ll use it on their own when they’re ready.
